Fallout Pinball First Impressions - Fast and Raw

Stern showed me Fallout Pinball today and I immediately started acting like I survived the bombs. I did not. My first ball lasted about as long as my last New Year's resolution. We are here FIRST with first impressions, hands-on from Stern Media Day. Fallout Pinball just landed in my grubby dad hands and I am already bargaining with the machine like it is a Super Mutant who wants my lunch money and my dignity. This thing is stuffed with Wasteland chaos, Vault-Tec lies, and enough blinking nonsense to make a middle-aged man forget he has a bedtime. I will chase scores I have no business chasing, roast every drain like it keyed my minivan, and pretend my flipper timing is a skill instead of a medical condition. See you in the live chat, you beautiful irradiated weirdos. Do not drink the water.